Why I Still Go to Therapy (Even When Life Is Going Well)

Recently, something happened that was really impactful and emotionally heavy. The details matter, but not for this…what matters was how I handled it. I had therapy the following week, and I asked her if we could bump up our session to this week. I kept hearing myself say “reach out, don’t wait for next week,” and after hearing that inner voice say it for the 5th time, I picked up the phone and contacted my therapist.

It was so comforting being able to sit with her and know that I didn’t have to carry everything by myself. I was able to express my feelings, talk at her, and know that it was a safe space where I didn’t feel like I had to dump this onto others. (I do have people that I can share heavy moments with, but I needed to sort some things out myself as well to have some clarity).

I was grateful to meet with my therapist because she understands the dynamics of my life so I felt comfortable to share everything that came up, and thoughts that I even judged myself for.

As a therapist, I often hear people worry that ongoing therapy will create dependency. They wonder if they'll become too reliant on their therapist or if continuing therapy means they aren't "doing well enough" on their own. I also hear therapists say that they are working to get you out of their office, they want you to be ‘well’…I understand this and I don’t think that people need therapy for forever, I myself have taken breaks in therapy and shifted therapists. Currently though, what works for me is meeting with my therapist once or twice a month.

I'm not showing up in crisis and I'm not relying on her to make decisions for me or solve my problems. It is a space for me though to reflect, process, have support and I walk out experiencing clarity. Whether that clarity is a challenge, is a sense of reassurance, or a shift in direction depends on the session.

I don’t need my therapist daily, I am not listening to her voice instead of trusting my own, but knowing that she is there when life happens helps keep me grounded. No matter how “healed” I am, it isn’t a destination until death. It’s a constant journey navigating different seasons of life, and being supported by an objective participant is currently a human need I have.

One of the things I appreciated most about this therapy session was that afterwards I realized that by advocating for myself and the time I needed, I didn’t end up carrying something alone for months or years. (It wouldn’t necessarily be alone because again I have supportive people in my life, but there is something different about unloading emotion onto your therapist - thats why we love our therapists right?). During my hour session I was able to slow down and get a grasp on what was happening internally so I could move forward with intention.

I think in a lot of ways, therapy has helped me become more independent. I learn to trust myself, to listen to my inner voice and am confident in navigating difficult emotions. The therapeutic relationship I hold with my therapist, that I hope I also establish with my clients is creating a secure foundation for myself and my clients to then be able to engage more presently in each of our own lives!

Sometimes people assume therapy should end as soon as things start feeling better (and I’ve done that!) but I’ve found there is value in having support in every season of life, even when things feel…simple, because none of us can know when something difficult will come up.

Some things in life are (dare I say it) out of our control and for me, therapy is a coping skill I like to keep available.