I was anxious AF and still showed up

Recently, I did something I haven’t done in a while. I went to an event by myself. It was the Full Moon, Flower Moon, Breathwork + Yoga + Sound Bowls among the flowers at The Flower Fields in Carlsbad.

I was so excited and had invited people to attend with me, but when the evening of the event arrived, I knew I would be in attendance riding solo, and I got a huge wave of anxiety. I was honestly confused at first, I used to do things on my own all the time, why was my nervous system feeling like someone was shaking my body?

It made me start to overthink my evening plans, maybe I shouldn’t go…no one would miss me…I could just relax at home…and I considered it. The more that I sat in the anxiety though, I realized I haven’t done something like this, on my own in a long time. My life is full and abundant, I am either at work, pouring into my relationships, my responsibilities, or with my children. I almost always have someone with me, and I have gotten used to that.

Anxiety doesn’t always mean “don’t do it” or that something is wrong. Sometimes anxiety wants to protect you and sometimes it’s because something in unfamiliar. The challenged is learning how to tell the difference.

A good “compass” is to find if your anxiety is aligned with your values. Your anxiety may be warning you when your values don’t feel aligned and your boundaries are being crossed, your intuition is signaling a concern, your body is telling you that something doesn’t feel right, or if something feels unsafe. That kind of anxiety tends to feel sharper, more urgent, and more specific.

Other times, anxiety may show up because you’re doing something new, it’s outside of your normal routine, you feel less in control, or when you’re alone when you’re used to being with others. Anxiety like that can sound more like “this feels uncomfortable, I don’t know anyone here”.

So what did I do? I knew that I value freedom, which to me was time alone (even though it had been a minute) and I value adventure and courage. I knew I also felt insecure not being able to show up with anyone but that I value kindness & mindfulness and that if I showed up with that intention it would be met well with the other participants at the event.

So I went. I knew that if I moved through the anxiety my body would start to calm down, be as it may a gradual shift. I knew once the event was over, I would be glad that I attended and proud of myself for showing up for myself.

Often high-achieving women are used to managing anxiety by staying busy, being in control and frequenting familiar environments…if something feels uncomfortable, the instinct is to avoid! However avoidance reinforces the belief that “I can’t handle it” while the opposite is what is often true.

Confidence is often built by showing up, staying, letting the discomfort pass, and then realizing “I’m okay”. You don’t need to be completely calm to do something new, sometimes you just need to trust the process.

Next time anxiety shows up for you, can you ask yourself, “is this trying to warn me, or is it asking me to grow?”

That may create a different outcome in how you respond.

When my evening at the flower fields came to an end, I was so glad that I stayed. It reminded me that I can do things on my own, I can tolerate discomfort, and I move through uncomfortable emotions.

If anxiety often feels confusing—like you’re not sure when to listen to it or when to move through it—therapy can help you build that clarity.

I work with high-achieving women navigating anxiety, burnout, and trauma throughout California.