When mothers Day feels heavy & how to prioritize yourself (mOM Or NOT)
Mother’s Day can stir up a lot of emotions. While social media may be filled with flowers, brunch photos, and heartfelt captions, many women experience overwhelm, loneliness, grief, pressure, or comparison on this yearly day.
Social Media tends to be a highlight reel, curating “perfect” family moments, grateful children, and spotless homes. Mothers who seem endlessly patient and fulfilled…and especially on a day where motherhood can be triggering it can create unrealistic expectations and self-criticism.
What isn’t seen is the invisible mental load that women carry. The emotional labor and how draining life can be. How much fatigue is often carried for those in caregiving roles, and even as we care for others how quickly we can lose sight of ourselves. If you happen to be a “working mom” there can be guilt that’s placed from not being available “enough” for your children, or from other media telling you that you should completely sacrifice yourself for your children, that “the workplace isn’t for women”. The societal expectations are murky and staying true to yourself can be tricky when also wanting to be available to the people that you care about in your life… sometimes when burnout arrives, just finding your way back to yourself seems to exhausting to even think about.
Comparison can often sneak in in these moments when we are so separated from ourselves and our emotions that we begin to feel more anxiety, shame and that we’re inadequate. Resentment builds because we aren’t creating time for ourselves and our needs and disconnection from ourselves deepens. If we have a history of perfectionism or a history of trauma then ensuring that we are regulating ourselves can seem like a foreign concept.
Here is your PSA: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO PRIORITIZE YOURSELF
Somewhere along the way guilt told us that being “selfish” was wrong. I hear clients say it all the time “I don’t want to be selfish”…how can you survive if you aren’t selfish. The tell tale metaphor of putting on your oxygen mask on the airplane before anyone else, is proof that in order to care for others well, we need to prioritize our needs. Rest is productive. Boundaries are healthy. Your worth as a human is not tied to output. You deserve care too.
WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH:
1) Notice what shifts your mood. Does being on social media change your mindset? Then limit scrolling. Unfollow triggering content. Spend time offline, dare I say in nature?
2) Go outside. Get outdoors. Look at plants. Look at life, living breathing life.
3) Connect with supportive friends. People that you can be vulnerable with and who you feel that support you as a human.
You are allowed to have needs, limits, emotions, and identity outside of caregiving. Prioritizing yourself is not failing others—it’s sustaining yourself.
Whether or not you’re a mom, prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s what allows you to thrive and show up as your best self.
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, or stuck in patterns of anxiety and self-pressure, therapy can help. I work with women navigating burnout, trauma, anxiety, and life transitions to create healthier relationships with themselves and others.