I’m Trying to Slow Down—So Why Does It Feel So Unsafe?

You told yourself this would be the year you slow down.
Less urgency. Fewer expectations. More space to breathe.

But when you actually try to rest, your body doesn’t relax. Instead, you feel restless, tense, or uneasy—like you should be doing something more productive.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not failing at slowing down. And you’re not broken.

For many anxious, high-achieving women, slowing down doesn’t feel soothing—it feels unsafe. When your nervous system learned early on that staying alert, busy, or emotionally attuned was how you stayed safe, connected, or in control, stillness can feel unfamiliar or even threatening.

This often shows up as:

• Feeling guilty when you rest or say no

• Staying busy to avoid uncomfortable feelings

• Reaching for your phone the moment things get quiet

• Feeling uneasy when you’re not “on” or needed

• Telling yourself you’ll rest after you get everything done

These patterns aren’t flaws—they’re protective. At some point, they helped you cope, succeed, or stay connected to others.

The problem is, your nervous system may still be living in that mode long after it’s necessary.

So when you try to slow down, your body interprets it as risk. Not because rest is dangerous—but because it’s unfamiliar.

This is why slowing down through willpower alone often doesn’t work. You can logically know you deserve rest and still feel anxious in your body when you try to take it.

Therapy can help in a different way.

Rather than pushing you to “relax more” or fix your mindset, trauma-informed therapy helps your nervous system learn—gradually—that it’s safe to pause. Safe to rest. Safe to stop performing or holding everything together.

Over time, slowing down stops feeling like giving something up—and starts feeling like coming home to yourself.

You don’t need to earn rest.
And you don’t need to figure this out alone.

If you’re curious what it would feel like to slow down without your body going into overdrive, I offer free consultation calls and would love to connect.